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DAP Forums > DREAM Act > The Lounge

is it possible to marry for love in these circumstances??

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#1
07-11-2011, 02:51 PM
Junior Member
Joined in Dec 2010
9 posts
forevrnevr
0 AP
My story is similar to everyone elses. I moved here with my parents when I was young and they ended up overstaying their tourist visa and here I am.

Anyway right now I'm going through a difficult time. I was in a relationship for a year with a usc and despite some struggles here and there I was happy. I've talked to him about my situation four months into us dating and he said to me if he wanted to marry it would be for love and so we dated to see where it goes. Well a year into us dating I felt like its heading that way and I guess he felt the pressure. He broke things off with me and I thought that he would at least want to help me out given that he "loves" me but obviously not enough to do so. I thought that it would be possible to marry for love and have everything work out but I have serious doubts about it now. I'm thinking about moving back when I graduate but my parents dont want to go and saying I should just find someone and marry for papers. I hate the thought of marrying someone just for papers but it may be the only choice.

Do you think its possible being in this situation to actually get married for love? I feel like people see my status and it creates all these doubts for the other person not to mention limits my life in a way that I can't be the best person I can be and show that to the other person.
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#2
07-11-2011, 03:16 PM
Senior Member
Joined in Dec 2010
355 posts
Happygolucky's Avatar
Happygolucky
70 AP
Absolutely, it is possible to marry for love.

The issue is not really the situation, but the person. If the person feels you are only marrying them for the papers and you have showed them time and again that you truly love them, the problem is theirs. They don't trust you enough or they are not secure. You can't built a relationship with that type of instability. The person is not mentally prepared.

I'm sure some fellow dreamers can attest that true love can withstand anything. I'm sure if you look around, you will find dreamers that have found love and married or are planning to get married. They found a person that will stand by their side and believes that the bond they share is love and not interest.
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#3
07-11-2011, 04:03 PM
Senior Member
Joined in Jan 2011
279 posts
yaystarcraft
10 AP
Of course it's possible to marry for love. Don't do it for a green card because it's gonna feel shitty if you end up getting abused or you actually hurt someone deeply all for selfish gains.

I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 weeks because I felt that he wasn't the person who will marry me. He's a citizen, but I make more money than him working illegally while he barely works... I had to cover his dinner costs, gas money, etc. So I broke it off and he left because he didn't love me enough to help me with the current problems I'm facing. (And I never mentioned marriage to him.)

I think if you marry for love, you'll be a lot better off. Cuz then you know that the person loves you and will help you in crucial moments and that makes for a lifelong relationship.
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#4
07-11-2011, 04:20 PM
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Joined in Nov 2010
117 posts
QuePasa87
0 AP
Definitely marry for love. I couldn't use someone for a gc. I want getting married to actually mean something.
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#5
07-11-2011, 04:58 PM
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351 posts
MaskedLuchador
0 AP
Do it only for lulz.
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#6
07-11-2011, 07:39 PM
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Joined in Mar 2010
1,256 posts
iDream
0 AP
my parents are telling me to marry someone to get fixed but i strongly opposed it. pretty much the same reason most of you have. so now, i feel like my life is passing me by. im turning 24 in two months and im still in this situation. everyday im losing hope...


P.S.- sorry, this didnt really quite answer your question, i just needed to vent a little.
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#7
07-12-2011, 11:57 AM
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Joined in May 2010
204 posts
judy21
0 AP
oh you can definitely marry for love my story is crazy well i been dating my boyfriend for about ten months we now live together after three months i never thought i would move in with someone that fast i did not tell him about my status till like a month later after all ready living together i felt like well if he really loves me he will stay, he was not shocked or anything he was like i don't care about that all i care about is being with you , we both in college, and we plan to have a big wedding later on he is a great guy and i never thought i could find someone who knows all my secrets and loves me for who i am , all the advice i can give you is to wait for that right person don't marry to fix your status give it time trust me you wont regret it , i think you should just focus on having fun making friends it sometimes better to forget about your status and forget about it and when you least expect it you found the one!
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#8
07-18-2011, 12:30 AM
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Joined in May 2009
115 posts
Selfignorance
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That's one long ass sentence!
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"The difference between a warrior and an ordinary man is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge while an ordinary man takes everything as a curse or a blessing."
-Don Juan Matus
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#9
07-18-2011, 12:31 AM
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Joined in May 2009
115 posts
Selfignorance
0 AP
My advice is to do whatever you think you have to do. Put your religions views aside and just take the plunge.
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"The difference between a warrior and an ordinary man is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge while an ordinary man takes everything as a curse or a blessing."
-Don Juan Matus
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#10
07-18-2011, 01:07 AM
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Joined in Apr 2011
504 posts
Boulevard
0 AP
Love is possible. I would never marry someone for legalization. No offense to anyone who comes on this portal, but I would rather stay undocumented than to marry someone in order to have a chance at becoming legal.
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