Poem I wrote about being illegal, appreciate it if you gave feedback

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I think is pretty fkn good!! Great work

It's decent. There some really good phrases that seemed kickass, but when it came down to it, the foul language, in conjunction with horrid structuring, didn't satisfy my expectations. Why not try visual art though? It seems like you have some pretty strong emotions that need to be expressed, but the medium you are doing it through currently is not communicating them effectively