These past days

Have been so frkn tough for me. I need to spit this out to somebody. Just don't feel like making it too public out there. I need someone to tell me if I'm doing the right thing or messing up.

It's been 2 months since I lost my job and can't find anything yet. I broke up with my girlfriend 5 days ago. 3 1/2 year relationship. I'm 23. We are both undocumented. Her family always made a big deal and opposed to our relationship. They always said that she could get someone better than me. She is very, very pretty. She was one of the prettiest girls in her high school, a lot of guys wanted to date her. Wealthy dudes, US citizens, and co-workers wanted to date her but she choose me. She has been very helpful with me but toxic at the same time. She has helped me with numerous financial problems and emotional crisis. Such as, paying for a ticket, paying for my dog's vet when he was almost dying, helping me pay the rent when i was unemployed, etc. She has always been very jealous but lately it's been very bad. She even gets super jealous if I go to the park with my 17yr old cousin knowing that she is under age and has a boyfriend. You cannot imagine the drama she gives me. She gives me a hard time for just about everything. Over the last year I have been thinking that is very hard for us to be together. It hurts when I hear her saying that she wants to be a teacher and do all these things that we are limited to. It's quite frustrating that she hasn't waken up to reality and realize that we will never get to accomplish anything without fixing out legal status. I was very afraid that later on with time she would understand all this and become frustrated thus leading towards a divorce etc and affairs. I decided to just cut this last week for multiple reasons.

1. She gives me a hard time for almost everything, I feel like I can't breath is just toxic. Sometimes she acts like she owns my life. My only stress reliever was soccer but since I got with her it's been just work and her. Not even time for school.

2. We will get nowhere with this.

3. Too much stress knowing all the dangers and problems that we have to go thru daily basis.

She has problems with her family just because they don't want her dating an undocumented. Now she's been calling me and talking to people in my family. This is just too much. No doubt she is a good girl but I cannot live like this anymore. It kills me to think that I will live like this for the rest of my life. I want to be that one to change stuff in my family, to make a difference. Hurts me deep inside my heart when I hear that my dad works for long hours and lives from check to check. Too much shit going on.

Hey there. Although I haven't been in as long as a relationship as you have, sounds to me like it's not a mutual relationship anymore. Best thing to do is what you did, break it off.

Hang in there !
'The night is darkest before dawn' -- you-know

Hey man

From what you've written, that shit is pretty tough to deal with. I can relate to some issues and 3 1/2 year relationship is no joke at all. My current girlfriend has been my best friend for almost 7 years, it would be devastating for me.. yea.

Since you guys have broken up, why not try to get back to playing soccer again? take some time off from "life" and just chill out at the park and play with strangers or whatever. We all need a breathe of fresh air once in awhile.

I can't say heads up, since I don't really see a foreseeable end to our plight. Just try to get some fresh air is all.

Sorry to hear about your problems. I assume that you already talked to her about the issues (e.g. jealousy) that you mentioned here?

We can give you all the advice in the world, but only you know what is best for you deep down inside. If you still want to be with her, maybe the both of you can talk about/work on the non-legal issues. If the relationship was harming you and you think that being single will result in a less stressful life, then single is the way. Depends on what you want and how much you are willing to sacrifice.

i went through something similar except that i wasn't straight up about my status and i just played it off like i was tired of the relationship but what really shunned me away from her was when she mentioned how she wanted to go to all these places like Dominican Republic, Europe etc, ask me why i dont drive her to places

thats when i realized that im not ready for relationship which angered me even more because i feel like Republicans are responsible for all of these bullsh*t restrictions in my life

but damn son.. out of all the girls that you could have chosen... another undocumented person? ...

I know right.... That was back then when i use to think life was easy and believed in Obama and all this politricks bullshit.

It sounds like that girl really loves you man. It's too bad she's packaged with those unbearable flaws. I'm behind you on your decision, not because she's undocumented but because it sounds like she doesn't trust you and that's why she's so damn possessive. That or maybe she f'd up and cheated on you, regrets it, and now thinks you'll cheat on her any moment you're out of sight. Maybe not.

My mother recently resorted into cleaning "loncheras" as her form of daily income and it truly saddens me. I disappeared from the world a couple weeks ago where I spent 4 days behind bars and another in jail. Now I have all these acquaintances, mainly co-workers and classmates wondering why so and so knows whats going on and why so and so doesn't... I was forced to miss an entire week of class (I had just received my A on my first O Chem exam). I'm stressed like no other too man. Multiple labs, quizzes, midterm, essay, court appearance and 24 hours of work is what I have to take care of/be ready for by this Tuesday, I'm behind, I'm broke, my phone bill's due, my landlord let me pay my rent 3 weeks late, and I don't have a f*ckn' guarantee that I'll be staying in the United States...

My only point was to let you know we all deal with some type of parasite from time to time. I figured my time would come back around, since the split with my Puppeteer ex-wife that sent me looking for a new start, states away, 5 years ago. I just didn't imagine it'd be in this form.

Stay positive man. I got no advice, but you really only wanted to be heard anyways. Good luck.

Damn, sounds like you are going through some tough shit as well man. Stay strong brother. Good luck to you too. One day all this bs will be over.

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