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DAP Forums > Other Topics > Other Topics

Work Place bullying..

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#1
11-05-2013, 11:30 PM
Senior Member
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2Face's Avatar
2Face
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My DAP brahs...I'm having a torrid time at my job lately and today was one of the most stressful days. I've been at this place for about 5 months now and I fear that I may be in the initial stage of being bullied by my boss. I am just so very confused. I can't make sense of it all. He is actually a very accomplished, smart individual that he has nothing to prove and nothing to be jealous about. But some of his actions especially today make me feel otherwise. I'm always scared shitless when I'm in front of him. Please note I've NEVER been disrespected verbally or threatened or insulted or anything like that but I just feel like there are some very SUBTLE bullying moves being made to affect me because my behavior is slightly that of a vulnerable/innocent defenseless prey. Not sure how to describe but hope you catch my drift. Every morning I wake up wondering what I'll get in trouble for at work and prepare mentally of how I will defend myself. There's so much I want to say but I'm just so confused right now. The person I usually talk to about things like this isn't responding to me. I need to talk to someone who can intepret some of these things for me and help me out. I don't care if others post in this thread asking for help..I'm willing to help others as well..Its not as bad as I'm making it seem. It's just that I'm sick as a dog as I type so this may be exagerrated but there is no doubt that my stress level is increasingly slightly as each day progresses. Thx in advance for any feedback..Stay strong Dreamers.
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#2
11-06-2013, 02:23 AM
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TAKEaPillChill
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Dude.. welcome to the club. My boss is very condescending and treats me like some high school kid. She's probably looking down on me for being in my 20s and having no work experience. Keep your head up. Majority of us is going through similar situations and some are still looking for jobs or waiting for their EAD. I suggest you find things to relieve your stress outside of work.
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#3
11-06-2013, 09:51 AM
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butterflynans
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does your job have a human resources department or is he the HR? if you have a HR team, you can talk to them. I'm sorry you are going through that. Try just doing your work and leaving work at work and not thinking about it when you leve. at work think positive and just stay out of dudes way and be nice (even if its fake). Maybe he'll come around. i'm sure he has his own issues and tales it out on you.
If your boss likes pointing out mistakes, try not to make them. But if that doesnt work you should find another job. It's up to you, you have rights.
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#4
11-06-2013, 07:26 PM
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Chyno
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2Face View Post
My DAP brahs...I'm having a torrid time at my job lately and today was one of the most stressful days. I've been at this place for about 5 months now and I fear that I may be in the initial stage of being bullied by my boss. I am just so very confused. I can't make sense of it all. He is actually a very accomplished, smart individual that he has nothing to prove and nothing to be jealous about. But some of his actions especially today make me feel otherwise. I'm always scared shitless when I'm in front of him. Please note I've NEVER been disrespected verbally or threatened or insulted or anything like that but I just feel like there are some very SUBTLE bullying moves being made to affect me because my behavior is slightly that of a vulnerable/innocent defenseless prey. Not sure how to describe but hope you catch my drift. Every morning I wake up wondering what I'll get in trouble for at work and prepare mentally of how I will defend myself. There's so much I want to say but I'm just so confused right now. The person I usually talk to about things like this isn't responding to me. I need to talk to someone who can intepret some of these things for me and help me out. I don't care if others post in this thread asking for help..I'm willing to help others as well..Its not as bad as I'm making it seem. It's just that I'm sick as a dog as I type so this may be exagerrated but there is no doubt that my stress level is increasingly slightly as each day progresses. Thx in advance for any feedback..Stay strong Dreamers.
Hey 2Face,

Can you please provide clear examples of how he is bullying you? Is he calling you stupid or just giving you a bad face when you do something?
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#5
11-07-2013, 10:21 AM
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Sorrybrah
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I had a job like that, first job actually. Quit after 3 months later, I was thankful I was working 2 jobs and I had the option to switch.

Best day of my life was quitting. Felt like a huge boulder was lifted off my shoulders.


That being said, if you have no other options, just try making the best out of it. Like my supervisor said, work is work, play is play. Don't take your work home brah. They sometimes ask me to work at home but I'd rather prefer working in the office, I hate bringing work at home.
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#6
11-07-2013, 10:26 AM
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Bullying is an overused term now days. Someone gives someone a dirty look and they call it bullying so then when someone gets a death threat at work and calls it bullying, people brush it aside thinking it's something minor. Are there any specific things the boss is doing? Bosses can be jerks, but unless they're threatening you, asking you to do illegal stuff, or crossing some other line that's protected by the law, just being a jerk alone isn't enough to do anything except quitting and finding a better job.

I'm guessing for most of the younger dreamers, this is probably your first job so you may not be used to the joys of having a first job with no real work experience or skill (by joy I mean horrors of joining reality) and may have your feelings hurt that the boss actually tells you to do work. To you I say toughen up, that's life. On the other hand, if your boss is sexually harrassing you, putting you in dangerous situations, is making racial slurs or actually violating your rights, don't stand for it and handle your business.
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#7
11-07-2013, 10:45 AM
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Dream becomes Reality
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2Face View Post
My DAP brahs...I'm having a torrid time at my job lately and today was one of the most stressful days. I've been at this place for about 5 months now and I fear that I may be in the initial stage of being bullied by my boss. I am just so very confused. I can't make sense of it all. He is actually a very accomplished, smart individual that he has nothing to prove and nothing to be jealous about. But some of his actions especially today make me feel otherwise. I'm always scared shitless when I'm in front of him. Please note I've NEVER been disrespected verbally or threatened or insulted or anything like that but I just feel like there are some very SUBTLE bullying moves being made to affect me because my behavior is slightly that of a vulnerable/innocent defenseless prey. Not sure how to describe but hope you catch my drift. Every morning I wake up wondering what I'll get in trouble for at work and prepare mentally of how I will defend myself. There's so much I want to say but I'm just so confused right now. The person I usually talk to about things like this isn't responding to me. I need to talk to someone who can intepret some of these things for me and help me out. I don't care if others post in this thread asking for help..I'm willing to help others as well..Its not as bad as I'm making it seem. It's just that I'm sick as a dog as I type so this may be exagerrated but there is no doubt that my stress level is increasingly slightly as each day progresses. Thx in advance for any feedback..Stay strong Dreamers.
Something similar happened to me at my first job but it was with a coworker that kept attempting to bully and supervise me when they had no such authority. I guess this individual was annoyed that I learned the job at a fast rate and quickly became an integral member of the workplace (which was so ridiculous to think that way). I pushed back, brought it to the attention of the manager, not much was done about it, I kept my head focused and kept applying to other jobs since this was just a PT job. Once I received a much better offer and job, I immediately quit.

2Face, keep your head up and depending on how unbearable it is, I would say to honestly start looking for another job in a healthier work environment. No one should wake up feeling uneasiness about the workplace, it's not worth it. Once you get another offer, bounce!
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#8
11-07-2013, 01:51 PM
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Joined in Nov 2013
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DiaStarr33
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I am sorry that you feel this way. I personally hate bullying of any kind whether it be kids bullying or adult bullying.

If you wake up dreading to go to work then this will effect your whole life. Maybe you can transfer to another department. Or maybe you can have a mediator sit down with you and your boss and you explain why you feel the way you do.

This type of bullying will effect your work performance. If you can't find a way to resolve things then maybe it is better that you find new employment. I know it won't be easy with the way our economy is but you can not go on the way you are feeling.

I hope things get better for you.
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#9
11-07-2013, 11:27 PM
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Joined in Aug 2012
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Severity
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Basically brush it off son, if it gets bad look for another job while you work there. My boss goes off the wall for stupid stuff. I tell it how it is, I stopped taking it serious after the first argument. If they try to threaten you because they feel in charge just drop a "sure, do what you need to do". If you're a good worker, they'll avoid getting you pissed, competence is hard to find. Don't ever feel like a victim.
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#10
11-07-2013, 11:40 PM
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Joined in Aug 2009
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dtrt09
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2Face View Post
My DAP brahs...I'm having a torrid time at my job lately and today was one of the most stressful days. I've been at this place for about 5 months now and I fear that I may be in the initial stage of being bullied by my boss. I am just so very confused. I can't make sense of it all. He is actually a very accomplished, smart individual that he has nothing to prove and nothing to be jealous about. But some of his actions especially today make me feel otherwise. I'm always scared shitless when I'm in front of him. Please note I've NEVER been disrespected verbally or threatened or insulted or anything like that but I just feel like there are some very SUBTLE bullying moves being made to affect me because my behavior is slightly that of a vulnerable/innocent defenseless prey. Not sure how to describe but hope you catch my drift. Every morning I wake up wondering what I'll get in trouble for at work and prepare mentally of how I will defend myself. There's so much I want to say but I'm just so confused right now. The person I usually talk to about things like this isn't responding to me. I need to talk to someone who can intepret some of these things for me and help me out. I don't care if others post in this thread asking for help..I'm willing to help others as well..Its not as bad as I'm making it seem. It's just that I'm sick as a dog as I type so this may be exagerrated but there is no doubt that my stress level is increasingly slightly as each day progresses. Thx in advance for any feedback..Stay strong Dreamers.
It's preferable that you communicate with him via email if at all possible. People in power are hesitant to put into writing their words, and this way you'll have evidence of his ambivalence, vagueness or hostility. Or plain bullshit. All things that can be manipulated to make you seem as if you aren't doing your job well. I just went through a similar situation, in a medical setting, nonetheless, with questionable and clearly unethical conduct by some of the staff and the office manager. Some of the staff and my friend and coworker, a nurse and midwife, noticed how they'd create a ring of hostility around competent people. A few years ago, it started the way you describe it. As with discrimination and prejudice, it is suble and a grey area, which makes it so hard to prove. They are rarely in your face with overt inappropriateness, it is never black and white, otherwise it'd be easy to prove. For now, document, document, document, print any and all emails between you, in case you need evidence. If they cannot attack your work, they will attack your character. You will need to state how you were treated. Bullies are always in power positions, I cannot make it clear from your post whether this is coming from your boss, supervisor or other person of authority.

From what I understand, you did qualify for DACA, so you need not suffer darling. Start looking elsewhere or cut back in hours and tell them you will give them enough notice to find someone else. Take your talent, experience or work ethic elsewhere to benefit another employer who appreciates you. I wish I had done that a few years ago, after all, one is no less 'illegal' whether one has a good job or a bad one. Good luck.

P.S. I have also learned that once someone finds you offensive or dislikes you, you will not do right in their eyes. Really, life is too short, start looking elsewhere STAT.
Last edited by dtrt09; 11-07-2013 at 11:43 PM..
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