omg omg I'm a horrible person

(btw I'm sry If I offended any of u guys on my last post, didn't really mean what I said.)
I feel like the worst person right now =( I porpusely kind of avoided seeing one of my best friends because I knew she'd ask me akward questions infront of my other best friend who thinks I told her the truth and I didn't want because I'd have to lie. I don't know If I'm gonna see her again b4 I leave, I'm leaving tomorrow. and then my other best friend was CRYING and I didn't even shed a tear, do u know how bad that feels? and then we ran into another person who knows me, and I'm like "umm so I'm moving to another continent tomorrow and she's like "WHAT NO UR NOT" and she's like WHY (ackward pause) and then it was completely akward with my best friend then one who knows the truth but a little enhanced SHE WOULDN'T STOP ASKING QUESTIONS she was trying to understand the process the whole thing, why I don't have a green card and the such can somebody say AKWARD?????? and the other few pppl that know I'm leaving, because I only told my closest friends that I'm leaving, yeah...I won't get to say bye to them. tell me why her parents thinbk I don't have feelings? they were tearing up a little bit, and me? my eyes have been dry the whole. today was the last day with my father b4 I leave and am I even crying? NOPE WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I have turned into robot.
I'm sorry for the rant you guys bu tI feel so weird right now! I tried talking to my dad about it but he doesn't understand.....nobody understands. nobody knows I"m leaving. Oh fuck, I just remembered my other best friend! shit! I forgot to call her.

Where are you going to go? Which country, I mean?

Btw, you're not a robot, you're gonna cry once you step out of the plane and set yourself in the place where you will be staying.

I guess that's the way girls feelings work.

.....

Well i wouldnt cry either if i was in your situation. My reason would be, 1: I dont really care that much about my friends, and 2: I know that if im leaving its because i do want to go, so i wont be feeling sad.
Maybe youre so tired of this shit that you're actually kind of glad you are leaving.


Or maybe you're just not the emotional type.

why not just tell all of your friends? You are leaving tomorrow anyway. I guess next time you post in this forum will be from a different continent. Good luck, I hope everything goes well with the move.

wow you couldve said you had advanced AIDS or cancer and ride one of their guilt trips and get a gay marriage in Cali and bribe the USCIS to get citizenship...

you didnt play your cards right...

What's up with everyone leaving? All good things come to those who wait.

omg i felt the same way!!! I am convinced our sitation turns you into a pathological liar - i started to believe my own lies. Well anyway before I left my friends all thought i was going to study abroayd and would be back this year...now they keep asking when I am coming back esp since some are getting married soon & I don't know how to explain that I might not be there...ummm I just keep saying I am busy with school & work. I finally ended up telling my best friend though & yea the questions are non-stop which is why I wanted to avoid telling anyone but I had to...it took me hours to explain the entire thing. Well now she understands and she is there for me, she might come see this year too so i am excited ...She is the only person I have told but I felt a sigh of relief especially since I could finally be open with her, I don't have to hide anymore & she accepted me for who I am. I don't wana tell my other friends though because I don't talk to them as much as my BF as it is & it really doesn't matter if they know or not, either way they can't help me get back. Hopefully if my visa/attorney/waiver issue goes through next year i won't have to but otherwise I might tell them next year...who knows.

Good luck talk to me if you need to!!! Yea where are you going back to btw??

By the way you do have emotions you are just trying to be strong right now ... it will take a month before it hits you & you will miss everone like crazy but you gotta tough it out until you are adjusted to your new place & new life. You will accept it & be relieved but you gotta get through the hardest part which is the transition of your old life to the new, but once you are adjusted you will be fine. Talk to me if you need to. Good luck!!

Where are you leaving to??
I hope all of us can stick together for one more year until Dream act passes.