My Story (newbie)

Hi guys,

This topic is actually pretty hard for me to write about. I have always been in the shadows about my situation in this country. I really don't know too well what made me want to go out of my shell and tell my story but I believe it has to do with this class on American Identity that I am taking as a senior in high school.

I was born in a Southern town in Chile. My dad came to the United States when I was about ten months old and I didn't come with my mom until 1994 (a week after the Northridge Earthquake here in California). As a child, I somewhat knew I was different. I say somewhat because I felt something inside telling me to watch out. I remember sitting with the rest of my classmates at my Catholic elementary school and getting asked where I was born. Everyone around me said Huntington Hospital or Glendale Memorial Hospital while I said Chile. No one knew where Chile was in fact, my preschool teacher thought Chile was in Mexico. I grew up with Chilean values and Chilean traditions. That means always sitting down with the family for breakfast, lunch and once (a repeat of breakfast only in the afternoon). We would always go places as a family unit, something that for a lot of American families is not possible. My first language was Spanish yet English developed shortly after. Although I knew that I was Chilean, I always felt American. I am proud of this country and I am a fan of its history.

I don't remember when my parents told me about my situation. I just remember growing up asking my parents what car I was going to have when I was 16 and just dreaming about it. I remember my parents telling me year after year, "three more years" yet those "three more years" never came. 16 turned around the corner, and I was left standing on the curb looking at the car of my dreams while the rest of my friends zoomed past me in their own cars. All I wanted to do was fit in. I wanted to be like them in their cars, or working at job. Yet, I told myself a few more years only. By the time I'm 18, I thought to myself, I would finally be able to vote. Wrong. I'm 18 now, and I still am not able to vote, in fact my little brother will vote at the same time I will and he's ten right now.

However, it wasn't until I decided I wanted to volunteer at this children's development center that I truly felt the burden of being in the situation that I am in. I wanted to be an educator so badly that it would be like a throbbing pain inside the deepest part of me. Yet, when I read on the papers all of the information and I had to bring and all of the background checks etc. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I felt like what I really wanted was unfairly taken away from me. I felt rage and helplessness because I couldn't do anything to fix the situation I was in. I have always considered myself an ambitious person, I never get put myself in a situation where I am weak but for the first time, I was forced to feel...helpless. Like my dad said, I felt like a plant or like a person chained to the seat tempted by the freedom the rest of the citizens so luxuriously waved in my face. It was the first time I realized that time is ticking. That there might just be a possibility where I would have to make a tough decision and go back to my native country and leave behind everything I loved.

Now, as I wait for college admission letters to roll in the mail I can't help feeling scared and anxious because of the unknown. If I am not able to get the scholarship that I applied to then basically my dream to become an immigration lawyer here in California will all go to waste and I will have to go back. I don't mind going back to Chile because I know I will be happy there as well, but its not something I desire. I feel this special connection with America and I know that my future is here.

America is a nation known from the endless opportunity, but why must that opportunity be barred from me because of a mistake by my parents? I honestly don't think I deserve it. And I honestly don't think any of us deserve it. That is why I am here, right now, writing this story. I want to get out the word that all of us "wetbacks" are not bad people, we are not here to steal your jobs or steal your money, we are here for the promise of opportunity given to us by God through the founding fathers. Isn't happiness an inalienable right?

Being in the situation I am, has caused many problems. But I have benefited from it as well. I am a much stronger person, a much more ambitious person, because I learned how to fight for my rights, how to deal with my situation, and not to let it define who I am.

Thank you so much for reading this.

wow this was very touching!.
good luck with the scholarships. and keep studying despite any barriers you may have.
you're very young. (i'm 20 and feel very old)
I could really relate when you spoke about your friends having cars and zooming on by, just keep working hard and one day you'll have an amazing car, while your friends have a used Hondas.lol

This is very emotional. Alot of us feel the same way but we need to keep our chins up and have faith that the dream act will pass soon. You are young, and I believe California is a good state in terms of giving instate tuition. Good luck with the applications and with scholarships.

hey! welcome to dap!!
good luck with the college letters and scholarships!
oh, i love your last paragraph. it was so...true!
anyway, welcome and make sure to stick around!

welcome to DAP!
i could relate to your story extremely well.

Welcome to DAP!
wanna share your story on change.org? Every week dreamers from across the country blog about their struggle and life. Just a quick recap of your life and how you are involved or benefit from Dream Act. Email or pm me if you can write that story or know other dreamers who would like to.

Thank you for sharing your story with me. Here is a little of mine own story. I hope knowing each others story will brings everybody together.

The United States, Land of freedom, is the land that my parents envisioned; they wanted me to be free to fulfill my dreams. My parents and I decided that it would be better for me to be in this country because of the opportunities it offers. I am living in this ‘land of freedom,” but I do not feel free; I am imprisoned by the fear of being deported and the frustration of not being able to accomplish many dreams because of my legal status, but I do not let these feelings get the best of me.

Within my first year in this country, my dad passed away, and my brother moved to another state because of work. I felt angry and cheated, and not just because my dream of my family’s being together could never become true but because education has always been very important for me. Not being able to pursue a higher education because of my economic and legal situation was depressing. Since I did not have the means to become an international student, I became an illegal alien for overstaying my visa period. I was then told that I was not allowed to study or work. I could not go back to the country where I was born because my family was here, Ironically, I felt trapped in this land of freedom.

My life in the US has not been easy, but I have not let this get the best of me. Even though my life might seem gloomy, I try to keep the candle of hope lit. Instead of focusing on the negative things that were happening to me, I decided to focus on the good ones. After all, I am in the country where millions of people would love to be. My mom, sister and brother are alive and supporting me. I am smart, and to learn I need only access to books. I knew that after graduating from high school I would not be able to attend university because of my economic status, but I still worked hard in school. Finally, I was able to learn English within a year of being in The US, and graduated high school with honors. I did not attend college until the middle of 200-, when I found ….Honors College. This institution took me in, and gave me a scholarship regardless of my illegal status and economic situation. This let me keep hoping and dreaming, and thanks to it I am still here trying to achieve my dreams.

One thing I have come to realize is that where there is a will, there is a way. Therefore, I keep dreaming and working hard to accomplish my dreams, even though I find many obstacles in my way. I feel tied up because of the limitations of my economic and legal status in this country, but I try to fly as high as my chains let me. Because I know I can accomplish great things, I do not get discouraged by the negative situations that surround me, but instead try to see beyond them.

Erase / Rewind

Very true. Like I said, our situation can be very frustrating but it makes us stronger people.