Hey Everyone, Sharing My Story
Hey all! From trying to find out new things about the DREAM act I managed to stumble upon this website which I'm pretty happy about. Here I feel like I can share my story without the judgment I get from other Americans that I talk about my status to.
I'm a male Polish immigrant with Polish-born parents. My parents brought me and my brother over to Illinois when I was 9 and he was 12 on tourist VISAs, which have long since expired. Main reason why we went to IL is because my aunt on my dad's side lives here, who is a U.S. citizen, and most of our extended family also lives in this state. Originally I was told that I'm coming here on vacation and I'll be going back to Poland September of that year to go back to school. That didn't happen though. My brother and I got enrolled in a public school and we've stayed ever since. I've done pretty well and school and have been the obedient kid, but I've always been socially awkward. I've always had pretty good grades, but never straight A's or anything like that. I'm not that intellectually blessed as most of my fellow DREAMers seem to be. My brother was the opposite of me though; not good at school, but a social butterfly.
First we started off living with my aunt before later that year we managed to rent an apartment. I've lived in that apartment for about 2 years before my parents decided to move elsewhere (still in IL) because we got robbed, and my brother's friends were getting him to do drugs. At our new house, where I live now, I've been attending school from 5th grade and now I'm a junior in high school. Two years ago my brother dropped out of school mainly because of drug addictions, but before that I remember him and my parents fighting that he couldn't have a driver's license, a car, or job legally, which looking back was a precursor to my finding out I'm undocumented. I've always understood I can't work or drive, but I never knew that there was a label for that. Well, my brother ditched school because he used drugs as escapism to not think about his situation. He could drive (although when the police caught him he got arrested), and did have a job for a little bit before his employer found out he didn't have a SSN. Since then though, he kept getting into drug related trouble and earlier this year was arrested for the final time and deported back to Poland. At the very least, I can be happy for him that he can now have the life he wants, and that he now legally has a driver's license and can work legally too. He has a girlfriend that recently came back to the U.S. from visiting him, and most of our birth family is in Poland too, so he's definitely not alone. He's always told me that he never felt American, and wanted to be back in Poland.
As for me, since I came here younger than he was, I pretty much assimilated into American culture. My English speaking ability surpassed my Polish speaking ability, and having socialized with more Americans than other Polish people, I consider myself American nowadays. The only thing that prevents me from being recognized as such is the lack of a 9-digit number and papers. I've told friends that I can't work or drive, and that's received mixed to positive reactions. I've recently found out about the DREAM act, which I feel is my only hope for being able to establish a life here. My parents were able to file USCIS sibling-relation petition to change their legal status in 2001, due to some law or loophole they told me about that if a family could prove that they came to the U.S. before December 2000 (since we came in July 2000), we could file for a change of status provided we had a U.S. citizen sponsor us. That would be my aunt, but I'm not feeling hopeful with that petition since it has an average processing time of 12 years. As each day passes, I fear that the USCIS will deny our petition, so the DREAM act is my only thread of hope to hang onto right now. I've told some friends about my situation and one said I need a lawyer for that, but as he's American he doesn't understand that they won't be able to do anything about that. All that will happen is that my parents will lose money that would to go to my college education. My brother has already stole from my parents so much that they had some serious debts, which luckily were resolved. As such, I feel very apprehensive asking my parents for money nowadays about anything. If there's something I want, I'd rather spend my own money than my parents', despite their insistence that I can ask them for money.
Now here's a twist to my problem that makes life for me harder in the U.S. - I'm gay. In fact, I've seriously considered making attempts at taking my life since I had a very hard time accepting myself, but luckily I don't feel so bad about it anymore. I'm only out to several friends of mine (one mixed and the rest positive reactions thankfully), but since gay discrimination in the U.S. is becoming extremely similar to racial discrimination of the past, well that's two sets of laws working against me. As such, while sometimes I feel like it'd be better to go back to Poland, I know deep in my mind that I can't do that. My birth country is in the top 10 of most homophobic countries in the world, and my parents and most of my family are Catholics, so I can't come out to my family, at least not until I can have control of my own life. Because of some revelations of real life combined with my at-the-time Agnosticism, I consider myself Atheist these days. I do plan to tell them eventually, but what's worse? Being kicked out for who you are with no place to go, or merely being rejected for who you are? And due to my status, I don't really see myself in a successful relationship since I won't be able to provide for it. Sure, relationships and friendships for that matter are more about the personal value of a person, their thoughts, emotions, their actions rather than money, but in the core of it all everything undeniably revolves around money.
Right now like I mentioned earlier, I'm a junior in high school. I do feel pretty down due to my overall situation, but I don't let my status stop me from being happy and making the best of my limited life. Unfortunately though, I don't excel at school (No 4.0 GPAs and numerous awards of prestige and whatnot for me), since when I try to excel, I know that at least for now, it's really all for naught. Always have been a realist at heart, despite trying to be optimistic. Similarly to my brother I seek escapism to not think about my status, though in the form of electronic entertainment rather than drugs. I've never been much of a leader since I'm a bit socially awkward, don't really go out, can't drive or have a job, etc. I am lucky though that IL is one of the few states that let me pay resident tuition for college, but for the schools I have in mind that's still a boatload of money. Community college where I live has an $8,000 tuition (that's my cheapest option, and it's still a lot of money), while my preferred school is around $10,000. My mom cleans houses and my dad delivers food, and helps out at a flea market that an employer of my mom's runs, so for me they have rather big shoes to fill. I really want a job to help levy the cost, but it doesn't look very hopeful now. At school, I'm part of the swim team, played tennis for a year, and write for the school newspaper, but despite the paper I don't have much talent for these. Too weak to make varsity for swimming, I didn't join tennis this year because of personal reasons, but my club adviser for the newspaper says I write great articles. Besides that, I don't really have any worthy talents, though I feel like I'm still trying to find myself. As far as school, English and computer-related classes are my best subjects. I'm learning German which I'm doing ok in, and since I already have knowledge of Polish, languages don't come very hard to me. I'm even self-teaching myself Japanese! Academically, math and science are my two weaknesses, especially math. I'm in pre-calculus right now, and it's just difficult for me. I can't get higher than a C in my class. I really want to go to college and make something of myself, but despite my tough situation I really want to prove to myself and others that my status isn't going to get in my way.
To make it all short, the DREAM act is the only hope I have for having a chance at life in the U.S. Like many of us here we're really hoping it passes. While I can't have a driver's license, ID, or a job, despite that I really want to have those, if the government wises up they should pass the DREAM act. Lots of people in my situation are extremely talented, moreso than me, and many other U.S. citizens. If we were given a chance at life here, I'm sure we could help out the economy a lot, and there would be no need to spend as much money on overseas employees, amongst many other issues.
Really sorry for the giant wall of text, but I can't really sum this up in a paragraph I don't think, lol.
I'm a male Polish immigrant with Polish-born parents. My parents brought me and my brother over to Illinois when I was 9 and he was 12 on tourist VISAs, which have long since expired. Main reason why we went to IL is because my aunt on my dad's side lives here, who is a U.S. citizen, and most of our extended family also lives in this state. Originally I was told that I'm coming here on vacation and I'll be going back to Poland September of that year to go back to school. That didn't happen though. My brother and I got enrolled in a public school and we've stayed ever since. I've done pretty well and school and have been the obedient kid, but I've always been socially awkward. I've always had pretty good grades, but never straight A's or anything like that. I'm not that intellectually blessed as most of my fellow DREAMers seem to be. My brother was the opposite of me though; not good at school, but a social butterfly.
First we started off living with my aunt before later that year we managed to rent an apartment. I've lived in that apartment for about 2 years before my parents decided to move elsewhere (still in IL) because we got robbed, and my brother's friends were getting him to do drugs. At our new house, where I live now, I've been attending school from 5th grade and now I'm a junior in high school. Two years ago my brother dropped out of school mainly because of drug addictions, but before that I remember him and my parents fighting that he couldn't have a driver's license, a car, or job legally, which looking back was a precursor to my finding out I'm undocumented. I've always understood I can't work or drive, but I never knew that there was a label for that. Well, my brother ditched school because he used drugs as escapism to not think about his situation. He could drive (although when the police caught him he got arrested), and did have a job for a little bit before his employer found out he didn't have a SSN. Since then though, he kept getting into drug related trouble and earlier this year was arrested for the final time and deported back to Poland. At the very least, I can be happy for him that he can now have the life he wants, and that he now legally has a driver's license and can work legally too. He has a girlfriend that recently came back to the U.S. from visiting him, and most of our birth family is in Poland too, so he's definitely not alone. He's always told me that he never felt American, and wanted to be back in Poland.
As for me, since I came here younger than he was, I pretty much assimilated into American culture. My English speaking ability surpassed my Polish speaking ability, and having socialized with more Americans than other Polish people, I consider myself American nowadays. The only thing that prevents me from being recognized as such is the lack of a 9-digit number and papers. I've told friends that I can't work or drive, and that's received mixed to positive reactions. I've recently found out about the DREAM act, which I feel is my only hope for being able to establish a life here. My parents were able to file USCIS sibling-relation petition to change their legal status in 2001, due to some law or loophole they told me about that if a family could prove that they came to the U.S. before December 2000 (since we came in July 2000), we could file for a change of status provided we had a U.S. citizen sponsor us. That would be my aunt, but I'm not feeling hopeful with that petition since it has an average processing time of 12 years. As each day passes, I fear that the USCIS will deny our petition, so the DREAM act is my only thread of hope to hang onto right now. I've told some friends about my situation and one said I need a lawyer for that, but as he's American he doesn't understand that they won't be able to do anything about that. All that will happen is that my parents will lose money that would to go to my college education. My brother has already stole from my parents so much that they had some serious debts, which luckily were resolved. As such, I feel very apprehensive asking my parents for money nowadays about anything. If there's something I want, I'd rather spend my own money than my parents', despite their insistence that I can ask them for money.
Now here's a twist to my problem that makes life for me harder in the U.S. - I'm gay. In fact, I've seriously considered making attempts at taking my life since I had a very hard time accepting myself, but luckily I don't feel so bad about it anymore. I'm only out to several friends of mine (one mixed and the rest positive reactions thankfully), but since gay discrimination in the U.S. is becoming extremely similar to racial discrimination of the past, well that's two sets of laws working against me. As such, while sometimes I feel like it'd be better to go back to Poland, I know deep in my mind that I can't do that. My birth country is in the top 10 of most homophobic countries in the world, and my parents and most of my family are Catholics, so I can't come out to my family, at least not until I can have control of my own life. Because of some revelations of real life combined with my at-the-time Agnosticism, I consider myself Atheist these days. I do plan to tell them eventually, but what's worse? Being kicked out for who you are with no place to go, or merely being rejected for who you are? And due to my status, I don't really see myself in a successful relationship since I won't be able to provide for it. Sure, relationships and friendships for that matter are more about the personal value of a person, their thoughts, emotions, their actions rather than money, but in the core of it all everything undeniably revolves around money.
Right now like I mentioned earlier, I'm a junior in high school. I do feel pretty down due to my overall situation, but I don't let my status stop me from being happy and making the best of my limited life. Unfortunately though, I don't excel at school (No 4.0 GPAs and numerous awards of prestige and whatnot for me), since when I try to excel, I know that at least for now, it's really all for naught. Always have been a realist at heart, despite trying to be optimistic. Similarly to my brother I seek escapism to not think about my status, though in the form of electronic entertainment rather than drugs. I've never been much of a leader since I'm a bit socially awkward, don't really go out, can't drive or have a job, etc. I am lucky though that IL is one of the few states that let me pay resident tuition for college, but for the schools I have in mind that's still a boatload of money. Community college where I live has an $8,000 tuition (that's my cheapest option, and it's still a lot of money), while my preferred school is around $10,000. My mom cleans houses and my dad delivers food, and helps out at a flea market that an employer of my mom's runs, so for me they have rather big shoes to fill. I really want a job to help levy the cost, but it doesn't look very hopeful now. At school, I'm part of the swim team, played tennis for a year, and write for the school newspaper, but despite the paper I don't have much talent for these. Too weak to make varsity for swimming, I didn't join tennis this year because of personal reasons, but my club adviser for the newspaper says I write great articles. Besides that, I don't really have any worthy talents, though I feel like I'm still trying to find myself. As far as school, English and computer-related classes are my best subjects. I'm learning German which I'm doing ok in, and since I already have knowledge of Polish, languages don't come very hard to me. I'm even self-teaching myself Japanese! Academically, math and science are my two weaknesses, especially math. I'm in pre-calculus right now, and it's just difficult for me. I can't get higher than a C in my class. I really want to go to college and make something of myself, but despite my tough situation I really want to prove to myself and others that my status isn't going to get in my way.
To make it all short, the DREAM act is the only hope I have for having a chance at life in the U.S. Like many of us here we're really hoping it passes. While I can't have a driver's license, ID, or a job, despite that I really want to have those, if the government wises up they should pass the DREAM act. Lots of people in my situation are extremely talented, moreso than me, and many other U.S. citizens. If we were given a chance at life here, I'm sure we could help out the economy a lot, and there would be no need to spend as much money on overseas employees, amongst many other issues.
Really sorry for the giant wall of text, but I can't really sum this up in a paragraph I don't think, lol.
Post your reply or quote more messages.
Last edited by bn1; 03-15-2009 at 06:18 PM..
Post your reply or quote more messages.
__________________
Blog: Stuck Between a Dream and Reality Email: [email protected] "And where we are met with cynicism and doubts and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can." - Barack Obama
Post your reply or quote more messages.
Post your reply or quote more messages.
__________________
"Yo no hablo de venganzas ni perdones, el olvido es la única venganza y el único perdón." - Jorge Luis Borges
Post your reply or quote more messages.
Thanks all for the replies, I really appreciate them. Sorry to hear about your brother dreamerhippie, and the panic attack you had at church. I still go to church myself, but really it's more to please my mom and to hide my sexuality until I'm in a position I can disclose it without fears.
@bn1, I have thought that maybe I could go back to Europe and pursue a life there, though it's just a very difficult decision to make for me. In my situation I'm not even sure if I'm allowed to leave the country, since I think my parents would have to go with me. Also, it just feels wasteful that I have an education and friends here, and that the educational standards of Europe are much MUCH higher than in the U.S., so not only assimilating into a new culture would be hard but academically I'd have a ton of catching up to do. Call me lazy if you wish, but it's just what I think right now.
@Maria, thanks for suggesting how I can help get involved with the passage of the DREAM act. I'm going to start by trying to get some of my friends to sign the petition, just have to talk to them in a comfortable way about it all first.
Either way though, I think this is a very nice community that hopefully I can be a part of.
@bn1, I have thought that maybe I could go back to Europe and pursue a life there, though it's just a very difficult decision to make for me. In my situation I'm not even sure if I'm allowed to leave the country, since I think my parents would have to go with me. Also, it just feels wasteful that I have an education and friends here, and that the educational standards of Europe are much MUCH higher than in the U.S., so not only assimilating into a new culture would be hard but academically I'd have a ton of catching up to do. Call me lazy if you wish, but it's just what I think right now.
@Maria, thanks for suggesting how I can help get involved with the passage of the DREAM act. I'm going to start by trying to get some of my friends to sign the petition, just have to talk to them in a comfortable way about it all first.
Either way though, I think this is a very nice community that hopefully I can be a part of.
Post your reply or quote more messages.
Last edited by bn1; 03-16-2009 at 07:35 PM..
Post your reply or quote more messages.
«
Previous Thread
|
Next Thread
»