Regret - Page 3

Your argument is nonsensical. You're equating a social contract you entered with your husband willingly to my choice to regret the decisions my parents made without my consent. And you keep trying to make it seem I should be glad I was brought here. I'm glad you're happy with your life as it is. Good for you. I don't particularly care about going back. I would've ended up here or in the UK anyway. All my mates from my home country either went on to university here or in the UK. Some are working as bankers, consulting, pursuing terminal degrees, and get to have the freedom to live life as they choose. My regret is in how poorly my parents made decisions that still affect my life. We may have very different ideas about what success or happiness is. Maybe to you simply living in the US is how you quantify happiness. I had already traveled to 5 countries on two continents before I was brought here, so, sorry, but simply being here isn't the height of happiness for me- even if I made these friends or entered my current relationship.

As to the argument "if you don't like it, go back"...that's always easier said than done. I've spent more than half my life here, and somehow if I regret the choices my parents made, I should simply go back to a place I'd barely recognize. If the argument could be easily rationalized in absolute terms, most of us would already be back where we came from. But it isn't.

Ok, don't take this offensively or anything, but seriously, right after you have "reason'', it's you that has the control of your life. Your parents are not responsible for your life, especially after you have grown up.


There must had been a reason why they took you up here, and probably was a good one (hey, they knew better, you were just a kid and they probably knew more about the "real life" that you would had to live there than you currently do).

And now, why waste time regretting stuff??? Go make the changes that you want to see, you own your life, you can do anything with it, even if its not "legal" for society hehehehe.


I don't regret anything, because it has already happened. I can't go back and change it, so I don't bother. I just look forward, make plans, and expect life to be nasty sometimes, and try to make any slap on the face as an opportunity. :P

Ok.. I was just trying to give an example.. if you're gonna sit there and complain about something in the past, then why not change it? Yeah, you had no choice in coming here, but now you do have a choice in leaving.
If you're going to sit there and bitch about it, then just leave. If you believe that you could've had a good life, then why don't you move out of the US.

I mean, yeah I get where you're coming from.. but still, if you really hate this situation so much, then why don't you do something about it.
Most of us that are still here haven't left because we love it here and we know that this is the best place for us to be.

I don't think happiness means living in the US. I want to go to college, get a degree, travel, etc.. but I AM thankful for what I have. I know my parents did their best in bringing me here. They brought me with the best intentions, so I don't bitch about it.

And if I regretted being here so much and didn't think this was the best country for me to live in, I'd leave immediately. That's why I don't understand why you complain so much about a situation you can do something about.

I don't regret it, but I get annoyed sometimes because we really did not have to come here. I know many people have no other choice, and in their case, bringing their children to the States is understandable. But in my case, my parents dragged me here because they thought it might be fun to move to New York for a while. That is all.

I would have preferred to stay in Europe and go to school and live my life there; now I am getting used to this country and I am not sure if I want to stay or move back.

But I am glad we moved to New York. I do love it here because it is not like the rest of the United States, and thank science for that.

Do I regret my parents brining me here? No. Why? Because, well, it wasn't ME who took said choice. At the time, and like many other's as me, I had no conscience as to what was going on and what the decisions my parents were taking. What two year old has that capacity? So basically, because I didn't take any choice, I wasn't asked anything, and I didn't make the decisions, no I don't regret anything. Why should I? No point whatsoever. Would just make myself bitter....

I do thank my parents for having brought me here. I have a rather good life, roof over my head, good education, food, basic everyday things, etc.... However, at my age, I do have to realize if nothing happens soon, I might just have to make a on my OWN, and that decision will be one I could say I regret or not: moving back to my home country. Sure, this is the land of opportunities, given, but there's only so many opportunities one can have before, "May I please see your Social Security Number and ID please?" Then, what........

It gets frustrating to know you're bound to hit a wall at one point or another. I'm lucky to live in a state that allows undocumented students to go to college/university; other's are not so. Some have their bachelors, masters, etc, but are working minimum wage jobs; where's the opportunities after graduation? Everywhere! It's not having a little blue paper card and laminated card with your name/picture on it that stops you from getting all the opportunities.

Being undocumented does not stop me from trying to live a normal life. I try to ignore the fact that I'm undocumented so that it won't bother me as much, but everyday I'm reminded of it through one way or another. And then I wonder, "Well, why am I HERE, undocumented, when there's a country on this earth where I AM a citizen?!!!" Makes no sense to me. Had my parents not moved here, I don't think my life would have been any better or worse over there. I would have had a roof over my head, food, education, and more. So really, why ARE we here? And maybe my life would be better over there. I mean, I could get a DL, travel wherever I please, get a job without worry. I speak Spanish, so getting around would be nothing, plus I have family there. Sure, I might want to come back but why would I when I could just as easily go visit France instead?

Then I think, "Well, I did grow up here, so it's not fair to just leave it all behind. I want what I deserve." There's many things I want to do and in two years, I might just have to get up and leave if nothing happens. I can't sit around all my life waiting on something that may or may not come. You can only be so hopeful and positive for so long before you start wondering if it's even worth it anymore. Would it be hard, you bet your behind it is, but that would only mean I'd have to grow up even more. Take responsibility for what I DO, and blame MYSELF for the actions I took which led me to a place I did not want: not my parents.

P.S. The way I see is this: if all DREAMies got up and left, we'd go back to our home countries well educated, speaking two or more languages, ready to work, to protect our countries: the whole package. An amazing work force gone! And then, who'd be losing the most here? I really should have an analogy for this, but gah, 1:00am, brain need caffeine!!! lol

first off, you weren't "just" sighting an example. you felt the need to negate how someone else feels about the initial topic. You're happy with whatever you have- great! But what gripes my ass is when people like you feel the need to off retorts to someone EXPRESSING THEIR ANGUISH! You don't know me, my life, or what choices I may have, nor should you be in any position to offer advice about what I should do. It's the height of impudence and narcissism. Happy or not, it's not your place to offer a solution- as ignorantly posited as you chose.

To reiterate: I'm glad you're content with how your life has played out. You're free to express it here or elsewhere. What I don't need is you feeling the need to tell me what options I have if I'm unhappy, then pretend you empathize with me by telling me you understand where I'm coming from. This site is informational, a networking place, and equally importantly: a place for me to vent my frustrations, if I have any! It's bad enough out there, but now I need complete strangers to tell me to be happy I'm here or go back? I don't need you or others who need to negate my feelings to lift and quote my words and offer opposing viewpoints!

And that's the last I'm going to offer on this topic

Forget regret, or life is yours to miss

I'm not entirely happy with the situation.. just gotta live with it heh.

Haha, no day but today. Gotta love Rent

Oh man. I had no idea it came from Rent(which I didnt know was a movie?).. haha.. I just looked it up.

It's just a saying I've pretty much adopted which kinda works on alot of my friends problems.