boyfriend - Page 2

She's not working for the CIA. If she loves her boyfriend she should be honest with him.

If I proposed to someone and then she told me that she's an illegal immigrant then I wouldn't marry her - why would I want to build a life with someone who lied to me all the time? what else did she lie about?

She should tell him about her situation. I don't think that he'll mind that she has no papers and he'll probably want to help her out.

I can't say what you should do, but I can tell you what I did so maybe that could shed some insight.

I told my (then) boyfriend three months into our relationship about my status when I had fallen in love with him (this was before he told me he loved me). I didn't feel right that this cloud would hang over my head and at the time I thought to myself, "If not now (that I love him), then when?" Both he and I cried because it's not like it was a solution that could be easily solved. He proposed marriage, I said no because I didn't want it to feel like an obligation. Regardless, he took it well and he told his parents.

Now, before we start delving into my past post about the breakup (and thanks to all the helpful advice guys!), I must say this. I did a lot of thinking before I told him. For one thing, I considered the fact that he's a die-hard Democrat with die-hard Democrat parents. I even pried and had asked him some questions before I told him like "Oh, what's your stance on immigration?" "What do you know about the Dream Act?" "Uh huh.... what do you THINK about the Dream Act?" And partly because he answered favorably, I felt unafraid to tell him.

Even now, we still keep in contact and his mom tells me every now and then that she's the biggest proponent for the Dream Act. (As an aside, I've seen that woman in action, when she's says she's a big proponent for something, she'll go out and lobby. Wonderful woman.). So you know, it's really up to you personally to see what the character of your boyfriend is like and whether he can handle it. What's his stance on immigration? How does his parents feel about immigrants? Despite all of us trying to break loose from our parents, we can't entirely say that they don't leave an inedible mark on us.

I hope that helps.

Hello from a guys point of view, if i really love you and you mean everything to me, then i would want you to tell me. It also has alot to do with trust, and if he trust you and you trust him, then you have nothing to fear because true love always prevails. From my personal experience, i was with my girlfriend for about a Year and 2 months, before i finally confessed to her about my situation, after about an hour of tears from both sides, everything got settled. If he really loves you, then you have nothing to fear. SO good luck with w/e you do. Hope my advice was helpful.

i was with my ex for 3yrs. almost four! she didnt know about my status and i know now that if she knew she would have accepted me for who i was. i was 18 wen i got with her but things werent obvious till i turned 21. she wanted me to buy beer or sometimes wanted to go clubbin with me even a trip to mexico or out of the states, she offered to pay. who wouldnt go!!! but i would be shy and make excuses. with the whole license thing, she was always like. y dont you have ur license. we would go to magic mountain or to other places and she would want me to drive. luckly ive been pulled over many times so i had an excuse. my license was suspended! anyways my point is its never good to hide something. this is how i see it, if he looks at u different or acts diff. then maybe he doesnt really love YOU for who u are. this could be a test!!! its easier said than dun but dont feel this way. be open... if he loves u like he says then its no biggie... good luck !

I answered this same exact question in this thread:
http://dreamact.info/forum/showthread.php?t=9467

You'll find a lot of answers there. I personally believe you should tell him because I told my girlfriend and it made everything 100% better and she wants to help me out if dream doesnt pass.

I'm afraid I'm of little help. I've never really let situations get so close w/my "girlfriends" to the point I feel I have to disclose that info. Unfortunately, the relationships are of the physical type (yay to men being pigs) and I don't let them get any further. I fear retaliation from a nasty breakup (let's face it, women can get crazy ) or being labeled a green card seeker. Only you know your boyfriend's intentions and/or way he will react. If you feel comfortable w/your situation (there really is no shame in being an "illegal"), and don't think that disclosing this will have any pshychological benefit, then why bother?