LIFE DECISION! HELP!! Marrying a CITIZEN.. she's a single mother - Page 4

Hater.. looking for some fuel for her wildfire of bullsh!t. Here I provided you with some more.. go wild with it. Girls now a days.. gone wild. LOL no offense.. okay maybe some

@Dreamer786 - you are not going to find your answer here. Do what your heart thinks is best. Do know you have 3 lives in total to think about. Be fair and upfront with everyone involved.

You are clearly stating that you don't know or think this marriage will last but want to use the situation to your advantage. Marriage is one of the "easier" ways people in our situation can use to adjust status but the law intends for the marriage to be a loving, long-lasting relationship - commitment from BOTH you AND your spouse. Essentially, you could be jeopardizing future AOS applicants; by publicly showing disregard for the law's intent, you give another example that the other side can use against us. This could lead to stricter immigration laws.

Your case might hold in the court of law, especially if you can act in an interview, but ethically it doesn't sit right with many people here.

In any case, it's easy to google your situation with the words, "married a single mother - divorced, am I legally responsible?"

This thread needs to be close and deleted. He obviously is just marrying her to adjust why people here are encouraging is beyond me

the way you express yourself in regards to this woman is very distasteful. simply because she cannot see that you only want to wed her because of what she can give to you does not mean you should take advantage of it. this goes beyond a green card - it is taking advantage of someone in a very premeditated way. your "creative" way of obtaining residency is contingent upon engaging in a sham marriage. this really should not be on this forum.

Regardless of your stand on my situation, I liked your post. You sound very sensible. However, law does NOT intend that a marriage has to be loving, long-lasting relationship. People get married to one another for lots of reasons. They just have to be reasonable aka nothing against the law. People get married just because they don't want to be single anymore... they know they're not getting any younger, Especially single mothers. This is the situation you'd call "settling for someone." Some even get married for financial security, which it totally legal.. hell I know many Americans who marry REALLY REALLY OLD people cuz they KNOW that person isn't about to outlive another year or two. Ethically fcuked up.. but still nothing illegal. They surely aren't in it for a long-lasting relationship. It's still not unfair though because the old dude knows why the lady is getting married to him.. but he's happy. He's got money.. in his mind her company is worth it. Some dudes even get married to trophy wives.. unfair for the wives? Maybe.. maybe not. In my case I feel like I'm the trophy husband to my girlfriend... she gets her happiness.. I get mine. I don't mean to sound cocky, or arrogant.. but in short.. she loves me for who I am.

#lawyered

YOU ARE RIGHT about one thing though.. marriage should be a COMMITMENT from BOTH sides! And think about it.. isn't it? (; And btw.. I wouldn't have to "act" for anyone... we have strong feelings towards one another.. and you can CLEARLY see that. We get along like we're already a married couple. OH and speaking of which.. even if I told the judge that NO! I'm NOT completely in love with her.. but I still wanna get married? That'd still be cool with the law. "We've been together for a long time.. I wanna move in with her, but of course live-in relationships are frowned upon in my culture.. Bam! Marriage certificate! Going with next to my diploma.. wall of achievements haha but again.. no sarcasm.. I appreciated your input very much. Makes me dig deeper in my brain for these stupid brilliant thoughts.. I mean in my heart for these loving feelings.

Thanks for the support. I know.. that's why I'm so confused about this whole mess. I know wants to try it.. and I'm alright with it.. but the kid will probably start looking at me as a father figure which is kinda messed up if things turn the wrong way in your relationship. But yeah you're right I will be upfront with everyone. Even the kid.. although he won't understand anything and just smile at me lol

I'd rather prefer you read the whole post before replying, Miss Lilly with 9 posts.
She'd obviously know. And she'd still GLADLY accept my proposal with open arms.. Even if it means that I'd try and adjust at least living with her. And it's mostly her who keeps proposing marriage even though she KNOWS I'm not in love with her yet. So.. there you go? I mean you can try and talk her out of it if you want.. I'd be happy to provide you her contact number. That's how you know how strong her love is.. enough for the both of us. Nothing unethical about it.

I don't think I made myself clear. People (in general) can marry whoever for whatever reason. The problem is that we are NOT Americans and this marriage will be scrutinized by law - specifically, immigration law - as soon as you apply for that status adjustment. YOUR intent is questionable. You can't just tell an immigration officer that you married her because you want to live with her [for now, implied] and it is culturally unacceptable to do so without marriage. You can't just tell them that she loves you. That's not good enough. Are you willing to put her on your life insurance? Are you willing to share your credit score, let her have a credit card under your name, have access and use your bank account/cash? Are you willing to share the responsibility of her kid now, or in the future? Are you willing to take on the responsibility of her debt? This is the level of commitment that is expected when you enter a "bona fide" marriage, and it WILL bite you in the ass when you divorce along with the threat of losing your newfound status.

Your posts do not clearly show that you have strong feelings for her. Sneaking out, texting at three AM - whatever, is like child's play compared to the world of marriage. You can mention how much she loves you and you like her all you want but at the end of the day, you envision a world without her and seem to only be concerned for your well-being and any advantages you may gain in the relationship. Stop telling us how she loves you. How much she wants to marry you does not matter. YOU have to want to get married for the long-term for reasons more than a green card.

THIS. What ever this is.. at least it's helping me in some way. What do you mean share my credit score? Like combine? Like a joint account? That's kinda messed up.. I've worked pretty hard to maintain my credit. I mean yeah, I wouldn't mind her using my credit cards, of course. I trust her. I wouldn't even think about marriage if I didn't. Her debt.. hmm. Nice point. I haven't discussed that with her yet. I don't think she has any but still I have to know what I'm getting into.

And as far as the kid goes.. Sure, I can take responsibility for him since we're going to be a family now... how ever long as this relationship lasts. And you guys are only focusing on ONE thing.. Like I said.. I think about the worst that can happen so I can be prepared for it. My question was if I'd be responsible for the kid in ase this doesn't work out. If I'm in the clear.. THEN I can allow myself to really get close to her.. find out my true feelings for her. I'm not lettin myself get too close to her.. the minute I feel like my feelings for her are getting stronger.. I back out. I've ended our dates earlier than planned cuz it was going so well. So, if I believe there would be no problems in case we have to call it an end... Then I'll let my self find out how strongly I really feel to her.

Jesus Christ you are not 24 year your post read like a troll or someone under 15